Ever wonder with Night Vale resident you share a soul with? And by “share a soul” we mean that your souls are permanently and inseparably linked, and when one of you dies – and one of you will die – the other will wither and waste away.
Your smooth, baritone voice is a beacon in the darkness for everyone in Night Vale. You are the guiding light. You are a soothing sight. You are Cecil. You’re still trying to figure out who you are, despite the fact that everyone around you seems to know you. You don’t always feel like you fit in, but at the end of the day, you know there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
Whoa, that outfit is, like, pretty offensive. You’re pretty unreadable when people first meet you… probably because you’re so busy appropriating other cultures. Oh wait, I guess you’re ACTUALLY Native American now? I don’t know many Native Americans whose first language is Russian, but I don’t get out a ton.
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD
Wow, lucky you. You’re the only person that The Angels have ever actually communicated with, and your house is always surrounded by that brilliant, angelic light. You are truly #blessed. You live on the edge of Night Vale, so you’re not as influenced by the bizarre happenings, which actually makes you a little less paranoid than those around you.
You’ve got a quick politician’s wit, and five heads. It’s not easy to be a public figure and a terrible, 18-foot tall dragon, but somehow you find a way. You’re a born leader. Well, spawned leader. Actually, nobody really knows where you came from. At the end of the day, only one thing REALLY matters though, and that’s the demise of the Faceless Old Woman.
What’s that horrible buzzing? What do you keep in that deerskin suitcase? What is that horrible, churning movement – that constant, sickening churning – just under the surface of that tan jacket? What do you do in that subway station? What’s down there? Who are you?
Oh. My. GOD! Look at that beautiful, shiny head of hair. Kinda a weird question, but can I, like, just quickly touch your hair? It’s just SO stunning. You trust your instincts, and seem to see and understand the world in way that those around you just can’t comprehend. Also… THAT HAIR!
Your polished, rich voice is a signal in the night for everyone in Desert Bluffs. You are the North Star. You are the near and far. You are Kevin. You’re still trying to find your identity, despite the fact that everyone around you can easily identify you. You sometimes feel a little out of place, but when all is said and done, you’re right where you belong. *This result sponsored by StrexCorp.*
You’re a free spirit who can never seem to quite settle down. Like, literally, you keep jumping from different dimensions and times to other dimensions and times. It must be very disorienting. But, somehow, you always manage to keep your head. Don’t worry. We’ll find you – someday.
You may or may not exist. If you do exist, congratulations, Erika! If you do not exist, sorry to hear. You’re a cheerful sort of person who never stops smiling. You can literally never stop smiling. You’re not allowed to stop smiling. You’re a huge gossip, and you’re great at changing light bulbs. Hey, can you grab some milk next time you’re at the Ralphs?
You’re a people person. You could spend a whole afternoon just quietly observing the lives of others. Maybe sometimes you feel a little envious of their lives, and their faces, but you just play the hand that the Gods gave you. Sometimes you wish people would pay a little more attention to you and take your advice, but there’ just something about your TOTAL LACK OF A FACE that just makes others uneasy. Go figure.