“When you’re here, you’re family.” You know, if your family charged you to binge eat and then talk about how full you are afterwards.
Three weeks later and I still haven't said “when” to the Olive Garden waiter to stop grating cheese.
Is it bad that I memorize Olive Garden's number?
when I die bury me at olive garden lay me down in a bed of breadsticks
Just tried to turn down the volume of the rain on my car radio so I could ask Siri where is the nearest Olive Garden. #StormWatch
If you've finished your meal at Olive Garden and you're still conscious, you didn't order enough breadsticks.
Hearing 16 year old guys give sound advice like, “Bruh, take your chick to Olive Garden. Girls love breadsticks.” I mean, he's not wrong…
.@olivegarden because you're a chain restaurant and breadsticks cannot stroke your cheek as you drift off to sleep
I'm happy but I'm not Olive Garden commercial happy.
If when I'm at Olive Garden I'm family the next time I go there I'm going to not pay my bill and I'm gonna ask to borrow $1,400.
Got kicked out of Olive Garden for getting my salad tossed under the table
Once, just once, I'd like to walk into an Olive Garden without someone yelling “Oh God He's Got An Erection”
I'm bringing my Xbox to Olive Garden for Valentine's Day. Referring to it as baby girl and caressing the controller as a pretend-hand.
Lady, you accidentally made eye contact with me, so don’t act surprised when I unzip my pants. This must be your first time at Olive Garden.
Another long night of leaving comments on the Olive Garden Facebook page, stirring up trouble just to feel alive again
My Olive Garden waitress refused to spit my pasta into my mouth. When you're there, you're family. Just not a bird family.
what if the last supper was actually judas feeding cheese sticks to jesus through a glory hole in an olive garden restroom
I like to picture Jesus as a young but promising Sous chef at Olive Garden whose Moroccan-inspired linguine has won him critical acclaim.
I have a 25 dollar gift card to Red Lobster OR Olive Garden left over from Christmas. Ladies, this is the year. Be ready.
I'd get Olive Garden bread tattooed on my arm but I'd probably end up eating it tbh.
Olive Garden is the only place where I get excited to eat salad.